Overcoming Fear January 10, 2021 – Posted in: Blog, Inspiration, Love, Thoughts – Tags: Children, Parenting

Children face many fears each and every day.  As they grow they learn to fear as well as overcome that fear.  Put simply the fear of falling, the fear of standing, the fear of being alone are some of our earliest fears.  However we overcome these fairly quickly with support from our parents. 

Young children are still discovering the world that they live in. Their imagination is developing, and hence, whatever they see/hear in life can result in formation of scary mental images. For instance, hearing unfamiliar noises in a dark room may lead a child to imagine monsters under their bed and/or fear darkness. Children become fearful at different ages, with different intensities and about different things. Therefore, there is no one best way to overcome fears. It must be customized according to your child’s developmental stage and their ability to handle stress.

Talking to your child will make them feel more comfortable. Let your child share their fear with you. Ask them to explain what is it that they fear and why. Let them explain how they felt. Show them your concern while they discuss their fear with you. Tell them how you were also scared of several things as a child. This empathy will strengthen your bond with your child as they start believing that you care and are concerned about their feelings.

Now one of the big things here is to not IGNORE your child’s fears especially if it is in relation to a particular person, relative or caregiver.  Even if you feel the fear is unfounded make sure you give your child the benefit of the doubt and investigate more. 

There is often a tendency to ‘tell’ your child “don’t be scared” or “stop being silly” or worse “stop being a baby”, these messages downplay your child’s fear but they also send a message that to be scared is wrong and this can lead to them NOT sharing their fears with you.  Instead explain it is alright to be scared and that they should tell you when they are frightened so you can help.

Ok so here are a couple of quick tips to help overcome their fear

1. Do not force them to confront their fear, this can only heighten the fear.  Instead support your child with love and care and allow them time to reduce their fear in their own way.
2. Be brave.  Your child will always follow your actions so show them how you deal with the situation and how something or someone is safe with you.
3. If possible, keep them away from fearful characters or at least make sure you explain that the scary things on tv are make believe and do not really exist.
4. If the fear is a particular park, room etc offer to walk through the area seeking the issue that your child is fearful of and help to solve it.
5. Try reading a book that shows how others have dealt with fear.  Or offer ways to protect them.  One I particularly liked was using a ball of wool and stringing it around the bed explaining that no monsters could cross this line, or another was filling a spritz bottle with water and some lavender oil and spritzing the room a couple of times explain the sweet smell  keep monsters away. 

Lastly ensure you tell your child often that you love them and will protect them especially as they go to bed.  Beanz Books has a new book dealing with a fear of going to school check it out on our site or click on the photo below. Our other books deal with fears of hospital and strangers etc.  Reading to your children at night can also help allay their fears.